feminism · Islam · Muslim · Uncategorized

Losing Feminism


This may make you angry.

This will NOT be ‘Politically Correct’…

For nearly 20 years I lauded the label ‘Feminist’.

I stamped it proudly on all my attitudes and behaviors.

I plastered its dogma on countless debates and online message boards.

I derided anyone who didn’t ‘get it’.

The question I look back and ask myself is: why?

Lets start by looking at ‘the F word’ in the simplest sense:

Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Maybe you have spent time reflecting like I have, and you already see the part of that definition which makes my hackles rise.

’equality to men’

Now maybe I am nit-picking here, but doesn’t that part bother anyone else?

Isn’t there something inherently misogynist in the implication that men should in any way shape or form be my standard?

I am a woman.

I don’t want to be treated like a man.

Yes, I want to be able to voice my opinions, vote, and get paid the same if I am doing the same work…but is that the focus?

Is Feminism just women fighting for an equal political voice by getting involved in congress, the senate, and the judiciary system? Or are they fighting to walk naked in public and ban my hijab?

While this bothered me even as a card carrying member of feminism, it is not my main concern.

I keep circling back to those to words: “to men”

It seems women have fought so hard to be simply treated as human, we may have begun to forget what makes us women, and why those differences are so incredible, and something to be embraced, not overcome.

I don’t want to live in a society where I need a firm handshake and a dirty mouth to be taken seriously or respected.

I expect doors to be held.

I expect eyes to lowered and tones checked out of respect for the fact that I AM A WOMAN.

To me, THAT should be feminism.

We should not have to sacrifice integral parts of our selves to try and live up to yet anotherunreachable standard.

In this society we are already not thin enough, calm enough, energetic enough, friendly enough, pretty enough, flirtatious enough, demure enough, and on and on and on….

I suppose the point I am trying to make is: I don’t want to be culturally or socially equal to a man.

More than that, it upsets me on a very deep level that so many women think they should be.

What is so wrong with our gender that we feel the need to compete in areas where it was never intended to BE a competition?

We are different.

We are women.

This is not a flaw.

This is not an injustice that needs to be remedied.

I wear hijab.

I do not shake hands with men.

I spend my spare time sewing and cooking.

I spend time with my ‘sisters’ and no boys are allowed.

I expect proper speech and manners from men in my presence…

Because I am a woman.

And that is my right.

I refuse to buy into a system that demands I be more of a man, and less of myself, and somehow views that as a step forward.

In short ladies:

Yes, stand up for what is Just, but don’t let this twisted society fool you into believing that you are not your own standard of value.

Do not accept that until you can go shirtless and chug beer with the guys you will never be equal.

You are being robbed of something, and you don’t even know it, because you have been told your whole life it is of no intrinsic worth.

Hows that for misogyny?

P.S: Check out Integral gender complementarity. I feel much closer to this view personally, and you may be surprised to see you do too.


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